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  It didn’t matter. As much as my heart ached, I needed to push my pain aside and focus on what mattered. I needed to figure out a way to save Krin and get him back to his people. I needed to bust us out of the Zagrath ship.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Kratos

  “You made the right decision, Raas.” Bron faced me, as I paced a tight circle in my strategy room.

  “Running?” I rounded on him. “When have the Vandar ever run?”

  “I agree with the Raas,” Corvak said from where he leaned against the wall, his bare chest still marred by streaks of enemy blood. “We should have stayed.”

  Bron shook his head. “It was an ambush. We were outgunned, and we could no longer fire on the lead battleship.”

  Corvak growled his disapproval. “We could have.”

  I shot him a look. “Not if it meant risking her life.”

  Corvak slapped a flat palm on the wall. “Why do you continue to protect her? She left you.”

  I flinched as if the slap had been on my flesh and not the hard iron of the ship. I remembered what Astrid had warned me about my cousin, and I remembered her advice. “It does not matter. I cannot knowingly siege a ship she is on.”

  “We do not know she left of her own free will,” Bron said. “It was in the midst of a battle, and there were many Zagrath soldiers hunting for her. It is likely they found her.”

  My blood boiled as I thought about my female being chased through the ship by enemy soldiers. My only comfort was the knowledge that the apprentice boy, Krin, was with her. He was missing from the ship and was not among the dead.

  “None of that matters now,” I said, squaring my soldiers. “Our horde took heavy damage. We must make repairs before we go after the Zagrath battleship.”

  Corvak looked up from wiping his wet blade on his battle kilt. “We are returning to battle?”

  “The enemy took from us, from me,” I said. “They have our apprentice, and they have my prize. I will not allow them to have either.”

  Corvak nodded his reluctant approval. The Vandar did not leave warriors behind, even young, apprentice warriors. I knew he would approve of that objective, even if he thought my desire to take back the female was misplaced. I also knew his hunger for more battle would outweigh his disapproval.

  With Astrid’s advice at the forefront of my mind, I leveled my gaze at my battle chief. “I trust you can get our horde battle-ready so we can chase down the Zagrath scum? No one can ready a horde like you can, cousin.”

  His cheeks colored slightly, then his mouth twitched into a menacing smile, no doubt as he imagined spilling more enemy blood. “You can count on me, Raas. I will assess our weapons and ready the horde for battle.” He hooked his axe on his waist and backed quickly out of the room.

  Crossing to the massive star chart, I studied our position and distance from the Zagrath. Bron had remained in the room.

  “That was clever,” he finally said. “He will fight even harder, now.”

  “It was the female’s idea,” I admitted. “She told me that I could diffuse his envy by making him feel more ownership of the horde.”

  “The female is advising you?” The curiosity was evident in his tone.

  “Yes,” I said, dreading his response.

  “Maybe she should advise you more.”

  After a moment, I let out a breath. “Maybe you are right. I have led us into an ambush, and I refuse to blow up a Zagrath ship.”

  “We could not know it was an ambush, and I do not wish to see the female dead because she is on the enemy battleship. She deserves better than that.”

  I met his eyes. “I should have anticipated our enemy. That is my job as Raas.”

  “You are the Raas, not the god Lokken who forged the stars.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Perhaps I should be most concerned about your ego, Kratos.”

  I smiled at that. “Do not worry. I always have you to keep me humble.”

  He inclined his head. “As always, your servant.”

  “If you do not think I made a tactical error, what makes you look at me like that?” I asked.

  “It is clear she is more to you than a captive,” my majak said. “I also know she cannot be what you need.”

  “How do you know what I need?” I glared at him, anger bubbling up inside me.

  “You are the Raas.” His voice was steady. “Tradition dictates you take a mate in the old ways.”

  I turned back around, not willing to look on his face anymore. I knew what Vandar tradition decreed. I knew it better than anyone. But I also knew I could not control how I felt. I could not extinguish the heat she fired in my blood, or the desire that stormed through me every time I looked at her. I didn’t care if she wasn’t Vandar, or that she would never wear my mating marks. I didn’t care about any of it.

  “It is not law,” I said, knowing my words were a feeble defense.

  Bron was silent for a beat. “You would risk not having heirs? You would risk your position as Raas?”

  His words were cold water dousing my fury, but they were right. I could not continue to rule as a Raas of the Vandar if I took a mate who did not share my marks. And I could only continue to pretend she was a prize I kept for pleasure for so long before my own horde would question me. They would not begrudge me a plaything, but it was becoming clear to all that she was more than that.

  I leaned one hand against the clear chart. “I will take what you say under advisement, majak.”

  “Very well, Raas. I will check on our repairs and assemble the reports from the rest of the horde ships.”

  I made a noise in my throat in response, not watching as he left and the door swished behind him. When I was alone, I let my shoulders sag.

  I shouldn’t have been so surprised that Astrid was gone. I’d been foolish to think that the connection I’d felt between us would be enough to keep her with me, especially once she knew about the mating marks. I’d seen the look of betrayal in her eyes when I’d admitted the truth.

  I pounded my hand on the clear star chart and it rattled. I never should have been honest with her about that. Whatever she might have felt for me had been wiped away with the knowledge that she could never be more to me than what she was now. She could never be my mate. She could never truly be my Raisa.

  It had been cruel to call her that when I knew it was all a fantasy, although I hadn’t imagined I was torturing anyone but myself. Even now, the word tasted bitter on my lips.

  Raisa. A warlord’s mate.

  I could storm the Zagrath ship and get her back, but she could still never be my Raisa. She would just be Astrid, the small, pretty human who made me smile. I might be the Raas, with the power to take females as captives and do with them what I pleased, but I did not have the power to go against millennia of Vandar tradition.

  I thought of my warriors, and the horde I’d led for so many years. They were my people and they deserved my strength and my loyalty. It was unthinkable that I would put a female—a human female—above them. I could not.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I gave a harsh shake of my head. I would lead my horde into battle against the Zagrath to retrieve our crew mate, but I would not bring the female back. Even though the thought made my heart feel as if it was being run through with a blade, I knew it was the right decision. She would go back to her sister’s ship, and in time, I would forget her.

  Dropping my gaze to my own chest, I glared at the marks I’d been born with, the marks that were determining my destiny and thwarting my happiness. Black and thin on the hard swell of my muscles, they were as much a part of me as the skin they swirled across. For one terrible moment, I wished I could claw them off with my bare hands and pretend they did not exist.

  “Then they would think you are crazy,” I muttered to myself, knowing a Raas could never do such a thing. Not and remain Raas.

  I thought of my father. I had not served under his brutal command and relentless tutelage to abandon my duty now. I had paid too
high a price to be Raas, although I feared giving up Astrid would cost me even more.

  “It is nothing I cannot survive,” I told myself. “I am Vandar.”

  I pulled myself up to my full height and prepared to join my warriors on the command deck, giving a final malicious glance at my chest. My gaze caught on something, and I paused before leaving my strategy room.

  Peering closer, my heart stuttered. A faint black swirl was appearing on my skin where it had not been before.

  Mating marks.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Astrid

  “Not until you let me see my friend.” I narrowed my eyes at the medic who was attempting to run some scans on me.

  Even though he wore a Zagrath uniform, he didn’t look like one of their automaton soldiers. He let out an exasperated breath. “You mean the Vandar who was rescued with you?”

  “I mean the child who was with me.” I couldn’t bring myself to say that I’d been rescued. “He might be one of your enemies, but he’s still just a kid, and I want to know where you took him.”

  I’d been brought to the ship’s medical bay, but they hadn’t brought Krin with me, despite my loud and vehement protests. Of the two of us, he’d been the one zapped, and he should have been checked out. Not me. I was fine. Pissed off, but fine.

  I was only sitting on the shiny, metal, examination platform and breathing in the slightly antiseptic scent of the room because the door had been locked and there wasn’t any point in me running around the examination stations that ran the length of the rectangular room. That, and I figured I had a decent chance of talking some sense into the medic.

  “I didn’t take him anywhere.” The Zagrath medic waved his scanner over me, glancing down at the small screen. “All I know is that I’m supposed to check you out and make sure the Vandar didn’t abuse you, or infect you with anything contagious.”

  I rolled my eyes and rubbed my hand across my chest where my skin felt warm. “Like I told the first guy, the Vandar didn’t hurt me. They wouldn’t.”

  He gave me a look like he thought I was delusional. “Yeah, because the raiders are known for being really great hosts.”

  I thought back to the soaking tubs in Kratos’s quarters and the food he had brought to me every day, and then I remembered the Vandar guard who dutifully followed me and Krin around as I explored the ship. I knew better than to argue with this Zagrath, but a part of me really wanted to defend the Vandar. “So far, I’ve been roughed up more by your soldiers than I ever was by a Vandar.”

  The medic pressed his lips together as he studied his device, finally clearing his throat. He took a few steps over to a razor-thin screen that sat on a long white countertop, tapping his fingers on the screen. “You appear to be in perfect health.”

  “See?” I hopped down from the examination platform. “I told you the Vandar didn’t hurt me.”

  He spun around. “I still need to take blood to be sure you weren’t infected with any pathogens that don’t show up on external scans.”

  I instinctively crossed my arms. I hated getting blood drawn. “The only way I’ll let you take blood is if you agree to let me see Krin.”

  “I don’t even know where he’s being held.”

  The idea of the boy being held somewhere made me even more determined to see him. He would panic if he woke up in some sort of cell. I sized up the medic and decided to try another tactic.

  “Listen.” I took a step toward him and rested a hand on his arm. “You’re the medical officer on the ship right? It’s your job to make sure everyone on board is healthy.”

  He nodded at me, but looked skeptical. “That’s right.”

  “Well, your commander stunned a little kid with a photon thingy. Shouldn’t you at least check him out to make sure it didn’t kill him?”

  The Zagrath medic hesitated, biting his lower lip. “He used a photon stunner on a child?”

  “Yep, and then dragged him off somewhere.” I increased my pressure on his arm. “I only want to make sure he’s okay. He did help me escape, after all.”

  “Really?” He blinked rapidly. “A Vandar kid helped you escape from their ship?”

  “That’s right. So, the least I can do is make sure he’s okay. If you take me to see him and check him over, I’ll let you take my blood without making a fuss.”

  After a moment, he exhaled loudly. “Fine, but do not make me regret this.”

  Just to seal the deal, I threw my arms around the guy and stood up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

  I never would have been brave enough to attempt to this before I was taken by Kratos, but knowing how much he desired me made it easier to imagine that any male might.

  The medic’s cheeks flushed, and he cleared his throat again before pivoting back to the screen. His fingers flew across the smooth surface as he tapped rapidly. A schematic of the ship appeared with a small section illuminated in red.

  He frowned. “They have him in a holding cell.”

  “Let’s go.” I tugged at his arm.

  He didn’t budge, but his gaze went up and down me. “You can’t walk around the ship like that.”

  I glanced at my shapeless, torn dress. He had a point. I didn’t exactly blend in. “Okay. I don’t suppose you have a wardrobe department nearby.”

  He took long steps to a set of tall, inset, cabinet doors that were the same gleaming white as the rest of the room. He opened them and pulled out what looked like scrubs in the same steely-blue color as the Zagrath uniform. “Here. These are what I wear when I do surgery.”

  I took them, tugging the pants on under my dress and turning away from him as I whipped the dress over my head and pulled on the top. They were a bit baggy, but I tied the drawstring waist and tucked in the shirt. “Better?”

  “Better.” He went to the medical bay door and opened it by scanning his bare wrist, waving for me to follow him.

  “Remind me why I’m doing this again,” he muttered, as he led the way down the brightly lit corridors of the ship.

  I rubbed at my chest again, wondering why my skin prickled with heat. “Because you’re a medical professional concerned about the treatment of a child on board your ship.”

  He mumbled something I couldn’t understand and walked faster, ducking into an empty elevator compartment. Once the doors closed, we plunged down so fast I had to swallow a wave of nausea. The hallway we walked out onto was decidedly less bright and shiny than the upper levels, with lower ceilings, and even a dank smell.

  “Do Zagrath ships have a dungeon level?” I asked, only partly kidding.

  The medic didn’t answer as he led me to the end where a guard stood outside an arched door.

  “I’m here to check the prisoner,” he said, his voice taking on an authoritative tone I hadn’t heard before.

  The guard sized him up then glanced back at me. “And her?”

  “She’s assisting me.”

  The guard apparently found my scrubs to be convincing, because he opened the door for us, stepping back as we entered.

  The holding cell was every bit the jail cell, with a low, metal platform for a bed, and a pail in the corner. Krin was curled up on the hard steel slat, his eyes closed.

  For a moment, my breath caught in my throat. Even though he was Vandar, he looked every bit the innocent little boy, with his knees and tail pulled into his chest and his small arms tucked under his head as a pillow.

  I ran over to him. “Krin!” I knelt down and shook him gently. “Are you okay?”

  The medic came up behind me, passing his scanner over the boy as Krin’s eyes slowly opened.

  “Astrid?” Krin looked dazed, no doubt a residual effect of the photon stunner.

  “It’s me.” My voice cracked. “How do you feel? Are you in any pain?”

  “I think that’s my line,” the medic said.

  Krin’s gaze shifted to the Zagrath, and his expression went from confused to hostile. “We’
re on their ship.”

  “It’s okay,” I whispered. “He’s here to help you. He’s a medic, and I convinced him to check you out. I was worried what that photon thing did to you.”

  Krin sat up, rubbing his head. “Photon? Is that why my head hurts?”

  The medic glanced at his scanner. “It doesn’t look like it did any permanent damage, but you did get a jolt, which is why your head hurts.” He looked over his shoulder at the door. “I’m going to take you back to the medical bay. This isn’t any place for a child who’s recovering from a photon stunner.”

  The medic walked to the door, opening it and talking with the guard on the other side.

  “Astrid,” Krin whispered. “When can we get out of here?”

  “I don’t know,” I told him. “Even if we get off the ship, we don’t have anywhere to go. The Vandar horde left.”

  Krin stared at me, then shook his head. “They wouldn’t leave us behind. Vandar don’t leave warriors or mates behind—ever.”

  “Then they may come back for you,” I said, only because I didn’t want to take his hope away. “But I’m not a mate.”

  Krin tilted his head at me. “I’ve seen the way you and the Raas look at each other. I’m sure he will take you as his mate.”

  I shook my head, willing myself not to cry. “I know about the Vandar mating marks. I know your Raas can’t take me as a mate because I will never have them.”

  Krin furrowed his brow, rubbing his temple with one hand and pointing to my chest with the other. “Then what is that?”

  I looked down at the dark swirls on my skin curling up from underneath the V-neck of the Zagrath scrubs. So that’s why my skin felt so hot. I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, so I did both.

  The same marks that I’d seen so many times on Kratos’s chest were now on mine. I had his mating marks.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Kratos

  I tightened the armor on my shoulder as I strode toward the hangar bay, the cool steel on my scorching flesh a steadying comfort. The ship buzzed with the anticipation of battle—warriors rushing by me with weapons ready and fury in their eyes. If they were surprised to see me so far from the command deck, they did not show it.